my moral standing is lying down

So, in case you didn't see me spamming the rest of my social networks with Flux Pavillion updates, the show was awesome and I danced for ever! 1. There was a MOSH PIT. At a dubstep show. This is total win. 2. I was so soaked through with (my own and others') sweat that it looked like I got caught in a rain shower; my hair was plastered to my head. 3. Pot. People shared. I took a toke here and there and didn't have to pay and it was perfect. 4. I slapped some hot girl's ass. With permission, of course. <3 5. DIRTY BASS. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT. FUCK YES. I'm always disappointed when I go to a dubstep party and the DJs aren't spinning stuff with lots of dirty or wobbly bass. IT IS SO MY THING.

Can I just go to a different concert every week? That's not greedy, right?

So I will be getting inked again a week and a half from now. Yeah, no, I kind of can't really afford it. But I've been planning to get these tats done for months now, and even at that point it was getting to be an urgent feeling. I've only lasted this long because I had a date to look forward to. LAKJSDLFJASLFJLSAJFL;AJ GUYS, I WANT THESE TATS SO BAD I COULD CRY. RIGHT NOW.

This is for MY WOLFPACK (ILU GUYS). And also just because SPENCER FUCKING SMITH.

So while LJ was indisposed I decided to pretend it didn't exist and pretty much ignored the situation altogether. It seems to be back (or close) to normal now, so here I am. I've been in this weird limbo of unemployed with lots of free time.... and somehow finding myself sort of busy. And ffs, spending too much time with my parents. I spent 10 hours with them yesterday, helping my father buy and set up an awesome new laptop. But. TEN HOURS. =/

Just saw this movie from 2007 called Shelter, which was just great. It's about a guy named Zack, an artist in the ghetto of some SoCal city, with a sister who's a big flake and a 5-year old nephew who has clearly hung the moon and all because Zack is holding the ladder steady beneath him. His best friend goes out of town for a while and his brother stays there, and he and Zack end up hanging out, surfing a lot, and falling for each other.

Of course there's more to it, but it's pretty typical and straightforward -- nothing happens that you couldn't see coming a mile away, but it's sweet, and it's just-- nice to see this sort of romance/drama with a gay couple. =D I recommend it if you're looking for an easy, pleasant way to spend an hour and a half. <3

So now is where I'm going to get all fannish and say I WANT THE SPENCER/BRENDON AU! FIC FOR THIS MOVIE! They're surfer dudes! In southern California! The artist (~musician?) angle with family troubles is ALREADY THERE! There's an adorable kid! What more do we need? And really, WHY HASN'T THIS BEEN WRITTEN ALREADY? =(

And so I leave you with this, one of my favorites from the 8/09 Chicago M&G, from what I refer to in my head as Surfer-era!Panic. <3

My other laptops had Japanese names (kuroishi, aibou) to reflect my still-unwavering and everlasting love for Gundam Wing's Duo Maxwell, but I hadn't prepared myself to think up a name by the time I started setting up the computer.

So, in honor of my current obsession, I give you flawlessbitch:



"Killing you with cymbals" is a reference to the awesome and amazing and hilarious fanfic the lovely honeymull wrote. Of me. And Brendon Urie. Killing Zombies. Of which some were previously known to the world at large as the band Coldplay. (Hey, sorry if you're a fan of Coldplay.) LOLZ.

I literally spent ALL DAY updating the new laptop with my customizations-- programs, music, OH MY GOD setting up iTunes so that I could sync my iPhone without losing anything took HOURS. No joke. I haven't read PATD fic in like, three whole days now and I'm going through withdrawal. I want something EPIC, gdi.

Anyway, I'm closing with this. Because Flawless Bitches make me smile nnnnnnggghhh:

Spencer Smith is always a flawless bitch; we know this. But -- as flailed discussed with likeaglass, tellcincinnati, and chooseillusions last night -- for a moment in time the planets and stars aligned and the gods saw fit to bestow upon us a Spencer Smith that was super fit, stylish, WITH DELICIOUSLY SHINY HAIR (that seems to be mostly unproduct-ified) AND A TRIMMED BEARD. He's totally my favorite. <3

So I'm just going to leave some pictures here. Because I like to look at them a lot. And, you know, feel free to add more should you wish. Preferably in this same style of myfave!Spencer, but really ALL FLAWLESS SPENCERS ARE WELCOME. <3



( more shiny spencer smith below )

See? Look how hot he is. He has to take off his shirt:

So here are some more rips of high quality acoustic lives. You have probably heard/seen them on youtube, because that's where I ripped them from, but I wanted to be able to listen to them on my iPhone and with all the extra silence and/or unrelated talking trimmed out.

X103.9 HQ acoustics (2011)

• I Write Sins
  
• Lying
  
• New Perspective
  
• The Ballad of Mona Lisa

2008 acoustics

• I Write Sins (FM102.1)
  
• That Green Gentleman (FM102.1)
  
• Northern Downpour (X96)
  
• That Green Gentleman (106.1) -- this one isn't as great quality but you get the bonus of hearing Brendon sing everybody gets there / everybody gets... off on Ryan Ross ^_~

And then there's the song that somehow tipped me over into this fandom, where Ryan SINGS LEAD VOCAL, and Brendon sounds RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY singing the chorus, and most importantly where WEREWOLF!SPENCER DANCES AND FALLS OVER <3 ---> It's Almost Halloween (not acoustic).

I find myself coming back to the acoustics/lives because well, not only is it sort of more interesting to hear the inflections of unpolished voices and whatever improvised flourishes that get played.... but also, honestly, I just love hearing Ryan's voice -- especially when he and Brendon alternate lines because the contrast is really emphasized. And other than on one or two songs (I'm thinking It's Almost Halloween and one or two on Pretty. Odd., most of which I don't really listen to), that doesn't actually happen. I do have audio rips of the two lives (Denver and Chicago) and those are great, but somehow not enough.

(Hmm, I realize that might have been misleading... unfortunately these acoustic rips don't actually have much of Ryan singing voice on them...)

I do absolutely die over the one (is it in Chicago?) where Ryan talks to the crowd and tells them to alternate snapping during the verses and jazz hands during the chorus. RYAN ROSS, I LOVE YOUR SILLY VOICE SO FUCKING MUCH. This is what I really regret about not having seen them live before the split. DAMN YOU RYAN ROSS. laskjflasjflasjdf;lasjf;lasjfl

Somehow this became my RYRO ILU post, so I will just put this here:

I'd been thinking a little about making a sticky welcome post but with this recent friending meme I decided to actually go ahead and make one since it's not related to any specific fandom and thus broader interests/discussions are relevant.

So, if you're interested you can check that out here: HI NEW FRANDS!

But then I realized that, along with my 30th birthday last month, it was also the 10th anniversary of creating this livejournal (way back in May 2001)! Looking back I felt like there were long stretches where I didn't actually do much with it... and that's not far off, in terms of what I wrote in it and whether I was interacting with people or just recording random things for posterity or, you know, just to hear myself talk.

So I checked my calendar of posts and realized... there were only NINE MONTHS where I didn't post even just once -- out of TEN YEARS on LJ, and they're spread only between 2003-04.

I know plenty of people do posting challenges -- 365 days/year, for example! -- and I can't even commit to doing a 30-day meme in actually 30 days! But lol, have I mentioned how I tried doing that when I got a diary for my birthday when I was six? I'd forget to write in it for a week and then I'd come back and feel like I had to rip out the pages I'd written in because I had to start over. It had to be completely filled in, or in other words, perfect.

I've gotten over that feeling, clearly, but it also makes me happy to know that I've actually stuck with writing in a diary for TEN YEARS. In some ways, it's something I think I've wanted to do since I was a child and didn't quite realize I was already doing?

Ahaha, okay, randomly-introspective!Sara hour is over now.

Ooooooh, look at today's Google logo! It's Takashi Murakami's art! I'm totally getting his flat jellyfish eyes tattooed on my arms (above the elbows) next; I've been wanting that for too long now... I just have to save up some money since it'll probably cost a good $500+.

Oh, so you know those X103.9 high quality acoustic P!ATD songs you can find on youtube? First of all, DAMMIT, I want more high quality acoustic songs, and not just the same popular ones. I love when they play acoustic -- jesus fuck, Bden, your VOICE -- I really wish they'd put out an acoustic album and it's kind of awesome to hear all the "ear candies" stripped from those songs we love so well and just have it down to the basics.

Anyway, I ripped the audio from those vids and then trimmed the extra silence in the beginnings and ends. If anyone wants the mp3s, just let me know.

The Ballad of Mona Lisa
I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Lying Is the Most Fun...

Same goes for It's Almost Halloween because it had like 30 seconds of silence at the end... and when I put it on repeat for like an hour one day I got really tired of having that looooong silence interrupting the flow.

/dork

I think Ready to Go (Get Me Out of My Mind) is possibly my new fave song of the moment. It's just-- catchy and fun? And then it's that whole rockabilly/greaser scene in the video. EVERY TIME I WATCH IT I CAN'T HELP DANCING WITH MY SHOULDERS. Also, you know, I have always (loved and) lusted over that aesthetic and basically BDEN GET IN ME. Yeah.


(gif by dirtyworkdesigns)

All those pics of Bradley's charity football match are lovely, but what I wanted was a bit of context. Which jhava provides in her awesome recap here. BRADLEY IS PARTICULARLY BENDY AND ADORABLE. Especially with fans! (Adorable, that is... not bendy?) Looks like he really went out of his way to sign autographs and be accessible. Which is just-- really wonderful. It makes me so happy when celebs acknowledge and interact with their fans this way.

This one is my fave. (Whaaaat, I have a weakness for pretty people in this position? Ahahahaha...?) And mmmm, he looks all tired-but-relaxed.



I don't read RPF all that much, not because of any "moral" protestations or anything like that (hahah, please), but just because I don't feel like I really have a handle on, you know, their "real" personalities. Though I suppose the cast's video diaries and plethora of behind-the-scenes stuff Merlin's producers have provided us means there's a greater chance of getting the cast's personalities close(r) to reality...?

In any case, I came across this fucking amazing epic RPF fic that basically YOU NEED TO READ RIGHT NOW, if you haven't already done so (which you may have since it was posted for merlinbb_rpf in September 2010).

junkshop_disco's The Colour of Cartoon Sunshine.

I'm absolutely in love with JD's inclusion of what seem like frivolous detail but really add to the depth of the character and flesh out the character's quirks and thought processes and reflexive (panicked/under-pressure) reactions. It's so wonderful and realistic and really makes her stories a pleasure to read.

In this particular fic, I was just completely pulled in by Colin -- how self-aware he is about his own issues, and yet how blind he is to some of his own feelings; how much he recognizes Bradley's brand of charisma and yet how unfathomable Bradley's motives are to him. I love Bradley's persistence, and patience, and god, his niceness. Nice can be such a vague and sort of backhandedly-insulting way to describe someone. But really, I LIKE PEOPLE WHO ARE NICE, OKAY.

It felt like a lot of the advancements of plot were actually staggered with emotional realizations/advancements -- which made it fell all the more realistic because you know, life happens, even when you're not emotionally ready for it. I never wanted the fic to end, but I love how when it did-- I didn't feel like it was too soon; I didn't feel like it was all wrapped up neatly.

One of the reasons this fic struck me so hard is because, in so many ways I AM EXACTLY LIKE COLIN, the way he is, here.

Please go read it.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, TOM.

(on my tumblr, also: source)



....did I mention how twitter legit exploded?! Hilarious.

Metallica's Welcome Home (Sanitarium) always reminds me of Summer Sanitarium Tour 2003. The line up (in order): Mudvayne, Deftones, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, METALLICA.

BEST FUCKING CONCERT OF MY LIFE.

I was 22; Liz was 15 (her first concert!). We were standing for over 12 hours, with nothing to eat/drink except for a sandwich and a cup of water at the beginning of the 12 hours, and then the water that the awesome security staff poured into our mouths (or over our heads) during/between shows. We were lucky to be in the third row at the beginning, and then on the barrier by the end of Limp Bizkit's set.

I have never been so dehydrated, hot, suntanned, deaf, bruised, tired, close to fainting, and fucking elated in my life.

Me and Liz, in the Port Authority bathroom, exhausted, after returning on the bus from Giants Stadium. (We still had to take a train to Queens, then a bus, and then walk half a mile to my parents' house.)



Favorite lines: they keep me locked up in this cage / can't they see it's why my brain says rage



List of all days.