my moral standing is lying down

Re-reads. HUH

None for this post.


I DNF'd

* Death Has Golden Eyes by Cameron Darrow (Parnormal Mystery/Thriller) - Sometime during WW 2, the Nazis used dark magic resulting in a portal to another dimension called The Realm. All sorts of supernatural creatures have crossed over. Desdemona "Dizzy: Dixon happens to be the world'S expert on all things abt The Realm. She moves to the countryside with the sole intention to investigate Realm-related activity in the area. Accompanied by a sentient fox and a 130-y.o. female vampire, Dizzy's first assignment involves two werewolves who showed up at her door. One of them is dead and the other one is unconscious. It'S now up to Dizzy to figure out what's going on...

I wish I could remember who or where I saw the rec for this book. If only so I could give that person a piece of my mind, LOLsob. The premise sounds cool enough already. But i know I picked it up cuz Dizzy is queer AND she's gonna have some kind of romance with another female character in the first novel of a new series.

Unfortch, the writing style was ATROCIOUS and LABYRINTHINE to the point of 🤬.

I BRING RECEIPTS!


- [Context: part of how the female vampire is described] "Solid black eyes--pupil, iris, and sclera--reflected as much as they saw, making them as unnerving as they were arresting. On humans, silver hair was sign of decay, but Azalea's was a vibrant river of mercury. The glint from the sharp curtains she'd slashed into it to best frame her angular face cast faint iridescent highlights across skin so sublimely pale it was as if she was wearing her bones on the outside."

Ooookay. I guess the idea was to make Azalea seem creepy yet attractive? IDEK.


- [Context: Description of Dizzy, the main character] "Nature had made Dizzy a gamine, but a lifelong love of dance and swimming had made it difficult to find off-the-rack options that accounted for the fact that she was, in fact, female, and wanted to present like it."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Did she gain weight and/or muscle to such a degree that she couldn't buy clothing at regular stores?? *Hands*


- [Context: Description of Dizzy's eyes] " A brilliant crystalline green that made most emeralds look like stained glass by comparison, they had always drawn attention--both to the hue and how far apart they were. Despite being nicknamed 'Hammerhead' as a child, her appreciation for sharks had only deepened as she aged: strong, graceful, able to rend the occasional limb from a human being and get away with it.."

😶😶😶

FTR, whenever I'm not sure abt a book, I try to read until page 50-100 (depending on the size of the book). IIRC, I gave up by, like, page 20 (or early in Chapter 2). IF, for whatever reason, anyone's interested in this novel, check out the sample first. I gave this a 1 out of 5.



Had an awesome time at first (but it all went downhill from there)


* The End of Her by Shari Lapena (Domestic suspense) - Stephanie and Patrick are parents to newborn twins. They're trying to keep things afloat (Patrick at his job as an architect at the firm he's founded with a partner; Stephanie at home taking care of colicky babies) the best they can. But they're also quite frazzled.

One day, a woman shows up accusing Patrick of something and that's when everyone starts to wonder WHO THEY REALLY MARRIED...

Let me state for the record that, out of this author's 9 books, I've read 6 of them. Although I wouldn't call myself a fan, I'm also aware that there's something in this author's books that I gravitate toward. This one, just like the rest, is extremely readable.

It's also a good domestic suspense...for the first half at least. There's a moment around the 52-56% where things get turned upside down. And that's when everything goes BONKERS. This is something that this author always does, so I just shook my head and kept reading til the end.

There are two reasons why this book is in this section:

1. One of the 10 (!) POV characters has a RIDICULOUS flip in their storyline. I wish the author had taken some time to establish said "flip" cuz it legit came out nowhere. I can rationalize an explanation for that switch, but ehhh.

2. NO SPOILERS FOR THIS NEXT THING

So, IN THE LAST CHAPTER, it's hinted that something terrible is gonna happen and that's underlined by the focus on a handful of characters as "potential suspects". Then the book ends. Next is an epilogue when the bad thing is over with...but the book never makes it clear WHO was involved???!!

To me, that ending reads incomplete AF.

I do have to add a strong trigger warning

for

a pregnant character who gets murdered (the child dies in utero). There are a few descriptions of that the corpse looked like in the aftermath. There's also undiagnosed post-partum depression in at least 2 of the female characters.

I gave this book a 2 out of 5.


* A Crown of Deceit & Ruin by Jessaca Wilis (YA fantasy) - This is the first book in a series abt a world where the ruling monarchs have a curse on them that will transform them into actual monsters.

Elora is a princess who has been held captive for decades. Kestrel is an older teen who leaves the tower she's lived at for years in order to find her father. Their paths intertwine (sorta) and soon, there's a race for a cure for the curse.

I gotta admit that this book had me HOOKED for the first 40%. Really liked the writing style, the worldbuilding (including a really cool magic system), and both MCs were likable enough to make me root for them.

HOWEVER, I started to feel some SUS vibes the closer I got to the halfway mark.

My issues with this novel both stem from the marketing:


1. This book is classified as an "adult novel."

This is NOT true at all! The book is an upper YA novel.

Kestrel is 19-y.o.--which is something that's brought up in the book several times. Elora is of an undetermined age. She herself doesn't know her exact age. HOWEVER, she mentions that the first time she died, she was 20 y.o.. and so, that's the age she'll look like until she dies for realsies. [NB: this is due to her race of ppl having the ability to resurrect themselves.]

In addition, Elora's main storyline is abt regaining her freedom after being held captive for decades. As for Kestrel, her initial storyarc is abt her leaving her home to go find Thom (who is her "father"). In reality, her narrative is a coming of age: finding out how the world works, learning abt social interactions, etc. Basically, Kestrel's tale centers on her growing up a little (not fully maturing, per se.) Kestrel, whose perspective carries most of the story (even though this novel has dual POV), and her character journey aren't anything I'd ever define as adult.


2. This novel is being promoted as a "slow-burn sapphic fantasy romance".

Which is a complete misrepresentation!

There's a marked difference between a fantasy book with some romantic elements (which is what this book actually IS) and an actual!fantasy romance.

Stating that a book is a sci-fic/western/fantasy/what-have-you romance indicates a series of things that SHOULD BE PRESENT IN THE TEXT. And that doesn't happen here.

FULL SPOILERS AHEAD for this so-called "romance" as well as the ending! IT'S RANTING TIME!

- The foundation of the entire plot of ANY romance novel comes from the romance itself.

Which doesn't happen in this book. The actual!story is abt finding a way to cure a curse, Elora gaining her freedom, and Kestrel learning abt who she is. The romance between Kestrel and Elora is wayyy in the background and NOT what fuels or influences the plot.


- Romances include several moments in which the characters are thinking abt each other a lot, pining away, as well as having plenty of cute/sweet interactionss that could be read as friendly or romantic.

Footage not found

Keeping in mind that this an almost 450-page book, Elora and Kestrel don't meet until right after the halfway point. These are all of their 1:1 "moments":

- A short conversation outside of the castle's library;
- A scene in which Elora comforts Kestrel with some kind words at the gardens;
- A chapter in which Elora and Kestrel practice dancing in an empty ballroom. FTR, this is the ONLY part that has them being mildly flirty with each other. NGL, this chapter feels like it belongs in a completely different book;
- During the novel's climax (starting around the 75% mark), there's a quick scene in which Elora thinks of Kestrel as her princess. Out of nowhere.
- When the book ends, the two of them share a v. passionate kiss before going off into a new adventure.

That's literally it.

So I ask y'all: WHERE'S THE ROMANCE?

The book spends so long setting up an admittedly complicated world that the romance is pushed off-page for the majority of the novel. Until, the last 15% of the story. By then, it not only feels v. late to bring it up, but it also makes the romance come across as totally unearned. It should've been built up way, way back.

I'm NOT saying Elora and Kestrel had to be head over heels with each other at first glance and fingering each other every chance they got or whatever. But creating a successful slow burn takes time and attention. This author did worked on crafting an engaging, action-heavy plot. She "just" forgot all abt the romance. 🙃

MOVING ON.


- The main conflict in a romance novel might/will potentially and temporarily break the couple up.

This next thing is SUCH a joke, y'all.

OK, so it turns out that Thom, the man that Kestrel has considered her father since she was a child, is also the man that Elora knows as Darius Graeme. He was the leader of the group that tortured Elora (under the king's order) for at least TWENTY YEARS. Upon hearing that the queen's army has captured Darius and is bringing him back to be judged, Elora's freaking out cuz that's how terrified she is of him and that's how intense her PTSD is. The one (1) thing that calms Elora down is remembering that the queen has promised her that she can use her death powers on Darius.

Me: Ohh, this is gonna be messy. OJO!

What actually happens: Elora and Kestrel have one (1) argument abt Thom | Darius, then they apologize the next time they meet. And, before they head off to the find the potential curse cure, Elora sneaks Kestrel into the dungeons so Kestrel can talk to her "father". Finally, Darius|Thom apologizes to Elora and she forgives him.

Me: wow, this book has truly 🤡 me, LOLsob.

So, not an adult novel and NOT a "slow-burn sapphic fantasy romance". I did finished it in 1 day. Although I don't regret reading it, I am not continuing the series. I gave this one a 1.8 out of 5


Good vibes all around

* The Duke Makes Me Feel... by Adriana Herrera (Historical Romance) - Marena owns and runs an apothecary in London. She's v. popular with the aristocracy. One day, the Duke of Liney shows up. He doesn't need any of her tonics, teas, etc. But he does want Marena to help him find a friend of hers...

Per what I know, this was the author's first historical and wow! Loved the premise, the worldbuilding, the MCs, and (even better) the surprise!queer characters too! A++++ for the sex scenes and the diversity of the world this author created too (which read a lot more like real life than a lot of other historical romances that ONLY feature white ppl, IJS.)

As I understand it, this was part of an anthology called The Duke I'd Like to F... that's no longer available in ebook form. So this author rereleased this novella. I borrowed it from my amazing library.

My gripe had more to do with the HFN ending (some of the conflicts that came up in the story remained unresolved by the novella's end.) Also, I did find both MCs (but mainly the Duke) to be a bit too perfect?

I gave this book a 3 out of 5.


* Monseiur X by Adriana Herrera (Historical romance) - Joseph Cantor Marshall is one of the most sought-after painters in Paris. He's v. lonely (and horny), tho. So he goes to an exclusive sex club where he has a wild time with a man who goes by "X".

Imagine Cantor's surprise when it turns out his v. next client is "X" himself, a shy Lord...

Again, delicious writing, diverse characters (both MCs are biracial), plenty of naughty times (centered around kink), and enough plot to keep everything together. I had a fantastic time reading this story in an an afternoon. This was part of ANOTHER anthology titled Rake I'd Like to F... that I think is out of publication. So Herrera republished this novella (thank you, my dearest local library!)

If only this had been a full novel. Alas! I gave this one a 3.3 out of 5


Current fic tally

Last post, it was 134 read/70 DNF'd. As of today, I'm at 148 read/74 DNF'd. Not bad!


Up next...

In an effort to avoid a potential reading slump, I've picked up an Ilona Andrews. I have a handful of queer romances I might give a read or two.

Unfortch, I returned Thursday Murder Club something like 3 days after my last book post cuz my mood reading self wasn't feeling it. I've since requested it again (LOL), and will try to stick with it til page 50 at least, LOL.