automatically generated drabble

[osaraba]

I was randomly bouncing from link to link and came across a drabble generator. Of course, I put in Duo and Heero's names; how can I resist? LOL, what it came out with is pretty darn funny. My favorite line has got to be about the watch, and yes "theatrical" was italicized by the generator (omg, the irony).

Single Lang Syne

Duo sipped unashamedly at his drink and stood single behind a gun. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel clever and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how terse his knee got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Duo knew very well why he was at the party: to see Heero.

Ah, Heero. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his tall elbow made Duo's heart beat like a fish out of water.

But tonight everyone was masked. Duo peered similarly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Heero. There, he thought, the man over by the mecha, the hidden one with the salamandar mask. It had to be Heero. No one else could look so chrome, even in a salamandar mask.

He began to walk Duo's way and Duo started to panic. What if he actually talked to Duo?

Heero came right up to Duo and Duo thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Heero said forwardly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the watch," Duo said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so theatrical.

Just then, a mechanical voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Duo's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Heero might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Heero swept Duo into his arms, bent him in the bag, and kissed Duo foolhardily, slipping him the tongue and groping his braid.

Duo could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out oddly and pulled Heero's mask off his face. It was Heero! "I knew it was you," Duo said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Heero said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Duo watched him go. He would be right back, Duo was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.
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OMG, I can't stop myself. So I'm just editing this post with a few of them because I don't want to spam flists.

Cowardly Tripping

Heero tripped along smoothly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Duo, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a lemming hopping along, carrying a window in its mouth.

Heero was almost out of time when he came across a bumpy cake, lying alone on a horrible plate. "That must be a treat from my stretchy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked sleek, so he ate it.

It gave him the most messy tingling sensation in his groin. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Duo.

When Duo came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Heero cried staunchly.

"Your nose! And your intestine!" Duo said. "They're tough! Can't you feel it?"

Heero felt his nose and his intestine. They were indeed quite tough. "Oh, no!" Heero said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that bumpy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Duo said. "I got you a light. It must have been that ingrained man who lives nearby. He acts a little abruptly, ever since he mimed a mop."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Heero sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Duo said nightly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your nose is really soft like that."

"Really?" Heero dried her tears. Heero kissed Duo and it was an entirely itchy sensation, like a ball of flame burning in the sky.

They spent the night having entirely itchy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.
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